Things have been pretty intense since the last full moon. There has been tragedy, there has been triumph and there has been really big feelings that have been difficult to hold. Tomorrow’s eclipse in Cancer is going to push deeper into that place. This New Moon / solar eclipse happening on the North Node functions like a super new moon. We are asked to plant seeds around emotionally nurturing ourselves and the ways we can care for ourselves and each other. We are all swimming together in these emotional waters, how can we give ourselves what we need to feel safe? How can we care for our inner self, for our child self? And how can we nurture ourselves so that we can feel at home in our bodies and in our world?
This eclipse is happening opposite Saturn on the South Node. This aspect asks us to release old structures that no longer serve us. While cancer talks about emotional security, Capricorn talks about physical security. We are being asked to let go of the old stories and ways of being that have sacrificed our emotional wellbeing in favor of physical stability. This eclipse is going to shake that shit up. I see it like a hermit crab who has grown too big for their shell and now needs to scamper naked and vulnerable down the beach in search of a more appropriate home. This eclipse asks us to step out of our shells, releasing old ingrained patterns and to step into who we truly are as complex and sensitive beings that are taped into the subconscious ocean of the cosmos.
Personally I’m having a hard time with this. I’ve just gone through some deep intensity and I’m left having to hold feelings that are way too big for me and if feels utterly crushing at times. I’m trying to be in this place of inquiry and just noticing these feelings as they arise, without judgment. And I’m finding that it’s really fucking hard and it’s really fucking scary. And most of me just wants to shut down and run away but I find that I can’t do that. To live a courageous life as a wizard I realize that I have to just be with what is, as difficult as that might be, and try to nurture and care for myself the best that I can
...even when it feels like the wheels are coming off and the whole world of face down in a ditch. I’m left with this prayer that a good friend gave me. “What is preventing me from realizing that I am the perfect image of true divine source?” Is it my shell that I thought would protect me, that actually keeps me separate from the world? Or is it the fact that I can’t recognize the sea that I exist in and it’s hard for me to see all the ways I’m held by the invisible threads that keep us all connected. At times like this I can only see the ways I’m distant, separate and other. But hopefully this eclipse will shake that up and help me to realize that we are all floating in the same cosmic soup, and even though it’s super difficult I’m equipped for it. Hopefully I can recognize that I am held and supported and as scary as it all is, I’m probably not going to drown.
I’m sorry I didn’t get to the Tarot in this description, I’m pretty burnt out, run down and depleted. I’ll try and explain it in the video and maybe I’ll do some more writing later, but till then I love you. Good luck out there and remember to be good to yourselves and each other.