#soultarotchallenge Day 28: What am I stepping into in March? Omg this is the end of the month, the end of this practice, this phase and tomorrow I’m moving into something new. According to the #tarot that looks like the 4 OF CUPS. This card always seems to appear at pivotal moments in my life being like: “Check it out! And amazing cloud hand is popping out with this totally awesome magick cloud cup for you.” I got a little foreshadowing of that in a pretty amazing reading I received from @aleseosborn yesterday. In that reading the 4 of Cups functioned as my center. How I read that and what I want to be stepping into is a deep sense of being present with myself and present with the world. I have a left brain tendency to want to figure everything out which I think is a very human trait. I want to know which one is the right cup before I commit to drinking it. Meanwhile THE STUFF is like:
“Here it is, here’s the right cup, I’m making it magically manifest for you because I love you.”
And I’m like: “Omg I can’t concentrate on which cup is the right cup with this stupid internal voice of knowledge everywhere!”
and so I focus my energy even harder on trying to manifest the reality I think I want. I’m like competitive meditating trying to turn lead into gold. And THE STUFF is like:
“Bro, it’s right friggin here, I made it for you, will you please just look up.”
And I’m like: “Gawd, I can’t work like this, all these cups are stupid anyway, I’m never going to have the magical life that I’ve been dreaming of.”
And THE STUFF is like: “I’m about to give this magical cloud cup to the Goodwill, will you please just look up?”
And then a bird straight shits on my head, and I have a freak out like: “this is just great, not only are theses stupid cups stupid, but now I’m covered in bird shit and these stupid cups are empty and I can’t even clean up!”
At that moment I look up and notice this amazing cloud hand with its cloud cup kinda laughing at me. “WTF?” I say “Silly little dude,” says THE STUFF
"Those cups were just an illusion, a trick of the eye. What you are looking for is not external, is neither gold nor silver nor digital. Everything that you are seeking comes from an internal connection with the now. If you are able to stay right here and be present with me in this moment instead of continually projecting your freak outs onto those cups then you will intuitively learn how to handle situations that used to baffle you. You are not going to think your way through this, you are just going to have to show up and trust in the gifts that we are providing for you.”
The cloud cup bends low and washes the bird shit from my hair. Then I realize that that cloud cup was just another illusion, and that the tree I was sitting under was just a reprint of a painting. I look down, those aren’t my clothes and these aren’t my hands. I step out of the frame and recognize that it was all just a 2 dimensional drawing on a piece of card stock. What I was actually doing was interfacing with a phone about a fantasy I was having about a picture printed on cardboard that I was going to share with all these people I had never met before hoping to receive their likes, and to feel a sense of connection with them.
“That’s wicked weird” I say to myself. I wonder where THE STUFF exists in all this and I look up from my phone to notice a cup popping out of a cloud and an internal voice of knowledge saying “I’m all up in all this shit. Happy March kid, you better recognize.”