#soultarotchallenge Day 3: “What am I letting go of at this time?” VII OF CUPS- This card talks about illusion in its many forms and I’m like:
"Sweet I can totally let go of illusion, awesome!” Then I start thinking of the illusions that are comforting to me, like Instagram for example. I don’t want to delete my account and just check all the way out, I just started doing this really cool #Tarotchallenge and I want to stay relevant. A wise person once told me some shit, they were like:
“Anything that we put between ourselves and the hard edge of reality we will cling to for dear life.” And I was like:
"Oh snap!" And sometimes I wonder why reality has such a cold edge and why I fear it. And I wonder how can I soften it or soften myself to it? Oh yeah, Netflix, and I’m back to the illusion of comfort. I’d rather let go of the illusion of failure. I don’t even know if failure exists, I think it is just changing from one state of learning to another in this here human school. I’d like to let go of this illusion of perception, trying to measure my well being by how others appear and comparing my insides to others outsides. And I can probably let go of the illusion of my life looking like anyone else’s because it just doesn’t and whatever success I might achieve is not going to be anything like someone’s cousins who just got a promotion at their bank. Things like banks and promotions are illusions I let go of already and I need to remind myself that I don’t want to be accepted in those ways. The other aspect of this card is about options and what if’s. Like what if I didn’t waste my life being a drug addict? Or the paralysis of being able to go anywhere but not knowing what’s the right place for me to be. @spirit.speak reminded me that it’s not about letting go of all options but about choosing the thing that truly resonates with you. And I only kinda know what that looks like, but maybe to help sharpen that image I can let go of these cups that contain old ways of being or measures of success that no longer spark joy for me.
Really I need to let go of the idea that I’m doing it wrong or that whatever I’m doing isn’t gunna work. The illusion tells me I’m just wandering in the desert when my heart tells me I’m on my path. The illusion tells me I should just sleep all day because nothing I do really matters. My guides tell me to get on up and make a stupid video even though I’m afraid it won’t be “good enough”. The illusion tells me that I’ve wasted my life, but every fiber of my being knows that whatever I’ve done has brought me here and has given me the tools to show up for today and whatever comes next. I don’t know what that’s gunna look like but I’m down to accept it.