#soultarotchallenge Day 15: A message from my inner elder: Today my inner elder comes in the form of the 9 OF COINS.
They are like: “look at this abundance”
and I’m like: “Where at? What do you mean?”
They gesture out into the desert, “look at that.”
“Look at what? There’s nothing there except mesquite and creosote.”
“Yeah, it’s beautiful,” she replies. “Notice the subtle changes in the greens as the light shifts, notice how everything gets golden and comes to life, and how the clouds collect around yonder mountain.”
“Ok that’s pretty cool but I can’t eat yonder mountain, I want something tangible.”
“You kids are all so short sighted with your snap chats and your insta-stuff, y’all just need to slow it down. You feel like you don’t have enough because you are constantly rushing by everything that’s available to you. You are looking for something out there to fix a problem that’s in here,” she puts her hand on my chest, “and that’s never going to work.”
“I just see other people living these lives of wealth and ease and I want to have that too.” She looks at me, "You do live a life of wealth and ease, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“But,” I say, “I want to have a nice life and the fancy things like other people. Maybe if I had more followers I would be able to have these things”
“Ha,” she chuckles. “Let me ask you something, where does an oak come from?” I look at her perplexed. “Maybe if you put your phone down you could figure it out.”
“Hold on I’m looking it up. It says here that ‘the oak Common name of c.600 species of the genus Quercus, which are found in temperate areas of the Northern Hemisphere and at high elevations in the tropics.’” Now she looks at me perplexed.
“Boy put that device away, they come from acorns.”
“Oh yeah, I knew that.”
“But how does this mighty oak come from this tiny little nut?” She asks.
“It grows?” I offer up slowly.
“That’s right, it grows. The mighty oak is not made from without, by adding things on like building a house, but it comes from inside this tiny nut that has all the information that this giant tree needs to be what it is.”
“I’m not sure I see your point Grandma inner-old-person.” She just shakes her head slowly.
“Are you a house?”
“Are you a car?”
“Then why do you think that adding something external is going to give you more access to happiness? Your happiness and sense of well being needs to come from an inside place and emanate out rather than just tryin to ‘fix you’ by tryin to use outside things to fill up your empty space. You’re not a pot hole, those solutions aren’t gunna work.”
“But I thought things like money and followers led to happiness, your the 9 of Coins aren’t you all about money and security?”
“Boy, I’m about abundance and that is all around you, look at the joy that is your life. When you
recognize that, and appreciate the things you have, then you are living abundantly. You need to recognize that what you are looking for comes from in here,” she puts her hand back on my heart. “Not from out there.” She gestures out into the desert. “It’s beautiful out there," she says looking off into the distance. "Notice the way the light has changed since this began, now the mountains are turning all purple and the greens are even more golden. And just notice how it's only a thin and permeable membrane of skin that separates you from all of that, and maybe you are not that separate at all.” And then she vanished into a cloud of purple smoke, leaving me all alone to contemplate the sun set and the desert.